Thursday, October 10, 2013

heavy wooden door

i wonder
will you notice
that i have left?
will you reach out and
speak a few
curious words to me?
or am i just the sound
of silent glass breaking
not a word or a drop of meaning
eliciting from your
granite-smooth heart
i tried so desperately
to squeeze
emotions like 
juice from a
stubborn lemon
from you
i closed my eyes, tight
and wished
as i searched for insight
behind the curtains of
your eyelids
and what i found
behind the beautiful blue
pendants that lie
beneath your lashes
was a heavy wooden door
sealed shut and
covered in dust
from the sea-salt spray of
i'm decades ahead of
your past
and i don't know how
to stretch my arms and
reach back
i'm a failure at
unlocking the
chambers you close with
passwords and secrets
i'm a blurry mistake on 
a math test;
don't say anything about
the scribbled pencil marks
and the pitiful words 
i have written for you
oh please,
don't mention 
the innumerable 
attempts I have made
or the essay i wrote
that you have marked
with a blood-red F

i wring my hands,
and i collapse beneath
the surrender i am owning

i'm relieved
to return my attempts
at creating a key
for the nights grew cold
and my voice grew hoarse
as i stood outside
a heavy wooden door

dear friend,
let me in

i promise that i won't hurt you.


  1. I LOVE IT!! It's now officially one of my favs from you!

  2. This was beautiful. I felt like I was reading one of those poems you see on the train.

    "I'm decades ahead of your past." That was my favorite line. :)

  3. is it like solving a math problem... in human form? haha
    nice poem :)

  4. My friend, you have such a God given ability. Your heart is beautiful. To love is to hurt. To pursue is to have the door slammed in our face. But this is the economy of our Fathers kingdom. We give until we think we can't give anymore, and then Papa fills us up again. You can't make them love you, but they can't make you stop loving them. Thank You Lord.

  5. I love you!
    PLEASE follow me on twitter @macbethmota

  6. Yes, you have raised the bar for yourself and recognized the muse. Thank you. Would you consider a guest-post on my site?